Monday, October 24, 2011

House of The Dead

In this horrible adaptation of the once popular Sega arcade video game of the same name, director Uwe Boll's action horror effort finds a group of partying teens stranded on an island and doing battle with a new breed of unusually mobile zombies. Looking for a place to party away spring break, college students Cynthia (Sonya Salomaa), Greg (Will Sanderson), and Karma (Enuka Okuma) hear rumors of a rave on a remote island in the Seattle area. What they find instead id a bunch of lame looking Zombies who look as though they went to the Spirit Halloween Store for their costumes. Not that Spirit has bad costumes; it is just that this bunch of losers made them look bad.

What can I say about one of the worst movies ever made. Well… There is a cute chick in stars and stripes leotards that karate kicks ass until she gets eaten buy Zombies. Jurgon Prochnow shoots Clint Howard in the head. (something I bet Ron has wanted to do for years) This Movie signaled the slow demise of Jonathon Cherry’s career. Oh and I guess Ona Grauer kicking ass in a tube top with a battle axe was pretty cool.

Otherwise this was the most poorly written and choreographed film adaptation/zombie flick/horror movie ever made. I knew I was in trouble when shots from the game were interspersed through the movie as a special effect vehicle. That did not work in more ways than you could imagine.
House of The Dead is the kind of movie you should get your buddies and lots of beer over to heckle for eighty seven minutes.

House of The Dead should be forclosed on!!

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