Monday, November 24, 2008

Quantum of Solace

Ok first of all, The quantum of Solace is NOT, I repeat NOT a rehash of Jason Bourne flicks. So what that Solace has foot and car chases, great hand to hand fights, and Bond is on a mission to avenge the love of his life, Vesper. Along the way he runs up with Camille, played by Olga Kurylenko. She like bond is somewhat damaged, just like bond.

The two movie series are, i said are not alike, and frankly Solace is a great deal better than Ultimatum.

There is a touch of humor, slick cars, Felix, good old fashioned revenge, and an omage clip to Goldfinger.

Admittedly need are gadgets and more floosies. God knows I love floosies!!

If you are looking for a Bond flick that has adventure and fun, yet is more in the tradition of the original Bond Novels, without being over acted and boring like Timothy Dalton, then go see Quantum of Solace. Give Bond a chance, if you ever read the books like I did as a kid, you will love it.

I Lucifer

Daniel Craig, THE newest James Bond, If you have been ling under a rock, is also starring in a flick that caught my eye, I, Lucifer. It looks like more of a comedy, satire kinda flick but pretty cool any way. I always love a good Satan Flick. Wowza remember Elizabeth Hurley in Bedazzled?! Again I say Wowza!
Anyway, I, Lucifer is Based on Glen Duncan's best seller. God is giving Satan a last shot at redemption: Satan must live out a blameless life as a human. Slick negotiator that he is, Lucifer negotiates a 'try before you buy' period. One month. London. He has no intention of taking God up on His offer. Lucifer simply wants to put a body through as much drugs, sex, and other vices as possible. But inhabiting a human body gives rise to feelings the Ol' Devil never thought possible. Could he want to take God up on the offer after all?
Summary written by The Production
I will give this a shot just because its got Daniel Craig in it. Craigs done some cool stuff over t the past few years and I highly doubt that he’ll get type cast by his Bond role.
Oh Yeh, I will be reviewing The Quantum of Solace come Saturday morning. I konow it’s not a Horror flick but I will be ding damned dang I love me my Bond Flicks!!!, Own em all I do.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

The haunting of Molly Hartley

I just saw a Trailer for a cool movie coming out this halloween. It is "the Haunting of Molly Hartley" It looks to be a good old fashioned devil comes for his pay kinda flick and I think it's got lots of potential. Check it out at the link down below.

Iron Maiden Frontman Saves Brits from Living Hell

whoda thunk? I just thought that this was a pretty cool article, yeh I know its got nothin' to do with horror movies and all that crap but I gotta admit that after listening to Iron Maiden for years, this is the last story I'd epect to hear, and Bruce Dickinson is not lookin like what I would expect. Here is the story I found on SKY NEWS

Bruce Dickinson, lead singer of the heavy metal band Iron Maiden, has told Sky News how he helped a group of XL holidaymakers stranded in Egypt.

High flier: Bruce Dickinson is a fully-qualified pilot
Dickinson, a qualified pilot, was captain of the specially-chartered Monarch Airlines jet which flew them from Sharm el Sheikh to Gatwick Airport.
The 50-year-old, who flies the legendary Iron Maiden around on tour, also works as a pilot in his spare time.
He said he was delighted to have been able to help the stricken British travellers.
He told Sky's Alistair Bunkall: "I think they were relieved they were going home and finally that something defnite was happening.
"It 's obviously very stressful being stuck in a foreign country and not knowing 100 percent what's going on.
"It's probably even difficult even for reps of the company to find out 100 percent what's going on."
It was not the first time Dickinson has been involved in a mercy mission.
In the summer of 2006 he flew about 200 UK citizens home from Lebanon during the Israel/Hezbollah conflict.
The following February he flew the Rangers football team to Israel for their UEFA cup game against Hapoel Tel Aviv.
Dickinson is employed as a part-time captain by charter airline Astraeus who supplied him to Monarch.
He was taught to fly by senior British Airways pilot Phil Dales

I want to thank Sky News for this post. Thanks Sky News

Thursday, September 11, 2008

The Eye with Jessica Alba

You guys want to know why I love NetFlix, It's because when you watch a steaming heap like "The Eye" with Jessica Alba, and it sucks, you are only out a portion of your low monthly fee. Oh yeh, and 110 minutes of your life you can only get back by skipping church for a couple of weeks. Har dee har freakin har!
Usually I will watch the Asian Version on these types of movies, then I can go in to see the US versions with prejudice. Yes I am some what of a snob when it comes to US filmmakers redoing and dumbing down great Japanese, Hong Kong, or Korean horror so that us retards in the US of freakin A can handle them.
Heres the basics on the Eye: A Blind violinist Sydney Wells (Jessica Alba) undergoes a corneal transplant to restore her sight. With the help of her doctor (Alessandro Nivola) and her sister Helen (Parker Posey)(who could have been left out even though she is very cool, she had no place in this flick), Sydney learns to see again. Unfortunately, the surgery leaves some creepy side effects, and Sydney's sanity soon comes into question when she starts seeing supernatural beings. This thriller is a remake of the Hong Kong spine-tingler Gin Gwai.
Jessica alba looks great in her undies, but she cannot act her way out of them. It was not creepy, noy spine tingling, just a waste of a late Saturday night.

Oh Yeh the good thing was that I got it from NetFlix, so even though I had the option of bailing out 20 minutes in but didn't, I could have. Tell you what, the best thing about NetFlix is that when you get a stinker, you can drop out with minimal investment. You, to, can try NetFlix Netflix DVD Rentals. NO LATE FEES; Free Shipping. Try for FREE!
With that Shameless plug, I will let ya'll go with this; Don't watch "The Eye" we are talkin' serious no skulls here!!!

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Prepare to get Slimed again

I just heard, There is a Ghost Busters 3 in the works. Apparently, Columbia Pictures is looking at reuniting all four of the original Ghost Busters. Arent these guys all pretty old now?
Well it would be cool to see Bill Murry do some comedy again after the last few steamers he's been involved with. Like "Lost in Translation" No shit Sherlock, that movie made no sense at all.

Anyway keep checking back and I will post new news on GB3 as I hear it!!

Crazy Eights--Crazy to waste your time

Crazy Eights is a steaming pile of whatever you can imagine coming out of a werewolves hairy ass. Unfortunately, there are no werwolves in this piece of shite, there is only the occasional shadow of a little girl, Frank Whaley wining like he does in evry movie he is in, Dina Myers, Tracy Lords acting tough and cussing alot, and that skinny chick from the USA hit series Burn Notice.

Directed by James K. Jones
Writen by Dan DeLuca, and James K. Jones

Rough plot--
Six people are brought together at the funeral of a childhood friend. While settling the estate, they discover a map, which leads them on a search for a long forgotten time capsule, at the request of their dead friend. What they discover reawakens repressed childhood traumas and leads them on a journey through their long abandoned childhood home: a home with a terrible secret and a mysterious dead girl who will lead them to their strange fates.
The only good part of this peace of crap is when the skinny chick from Burn Notice (Gabrielle Anwar) rips her own jaw off. The rest of the deaths are only eluded to; just like the point of this whole meaningless adventure into stupidity.
Christ on a cycle, it took me four attempts to get through this pile fearnet. It is the first of the “Eight Movies to Die For” series that I have watched. I hope the rest are better. I would get the DVD just to see if there are direct/writers commentaries to explain WTF is going on, but then I would have to kick my own ass for wasting another minute on this crap.
Avoid this flick unless you absolutely hate yourself and there are no Cat o’ nine tails around with which to slap yourself.
No skull here folks. If Tracy Lords is reading this, no pun intended.

1408 The Directors cut

I just saw 1408, the directors cut. I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised. Mikael Håfström directs John Cusack as a writer who specializes in debunking haunted hotel claims. Mike Enslin, Cusack’s character, is a burned out maybe alcoholic who has a heavy weight over his head. After a brief opening segment where we get to know Mike, he is challenged by someone, via post, card to not stay in room 1408 of the Dolphin Hotel in New York City.

Samuel Jackson is Gerald Olen the Dolphin’s Manager. Olen tries his best to dissuade Mike from staying in room 1408, with everything from bribes, to ghastly tales of past deaths. Of course our hero Mike refuses these enticements because he believes that it is all a put on, that there is no haunting, that the Olen just wants the publicity.

Just about the minute that Mike enters room 1408, the ghostly antics begin. Like Olen says “It's an evil fucking room”.

There is a whole sub-plot that involves Mike’s deceased daughter. Somehow, room 1408 draws from its resident’s pain and suffering and throws it back in their face in order to push them over the edge. Cusack plays a great tortured soul facing his worst moments in life. The room incessantly teases Mike with pain, then release, only to fall back into the reality of his being trapped in 1408.

The end of the directors cut is very different then that of the theatrical release. It is just as creepy, but very different. I would definitely give 1408 the directors cut a 4 out of 5 skulls.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Death Race

Ok, I waited a long time for Death Race, the remake based on Death Race 2000 the 1975 cult favorite produced by and in association with Roger Corman, king of the B Movies.

Here is the plot, such as it is; in 2012, the United States economy collapses and life for everyone pretty much sucks. Once a NASCAR champion, Jensen Ames, (Jason Statham), hits rock bottom and spent several years in prison. His life was improving and changing for the better after meeting and marrying Suzy (Janaya Stephens) and having a baby girl. (This entire back story, aside from some text at the beginning of the film is barely alluded to; you are left to fill in the details). The steel mill where Jensen works closes and he loses his job. But that was not the worst thing to happen to Jenson that day. Jensen’s wife is brutally murdered, and he is framed for her murder. Jenson is sent to Terminal Island, the worst and toughest for-profit prison in the country run by Warden Hennessey (Joan Allen). She has created the country's most popular pay-per-view sport, a kill-or-be-killed car race where the inmates race to win their freedom from prison after 5 wins. Every inmate driver is driving a monster car that they built which is loaded with machine guns, missiles, flamethrowers, napalm, and no rules. Warden Hennessey convinces Jensen to secretly take the place of the late 4-time superstar winner, Frankenstein, originally played by David Carradine, and wear his metallic mask in the race. If Jensen wins just one race, he can go home to his baby daughter. To get to the finish line, Jensen must kill his competition before they kill him. Thank You to Douglas Young, “The Movie Guy”.

Here is where the differences lie. There is no moral message here based on the idea that we as a nation have gone to far with the whole reality TV genre. In the movie it is like duuuude, who cares!? The plot is held together by loose strings of action and the promise that Jensen can get out by winning the fifth race. We all know going in that this is not the case and he will have to defeat the evil Warden Hennessey before he can get out.

Even Ian McShane’s excellent acting, Jason Stathom’s usual appeal, and the strength of Joan Allen cannot make this a movie to be taken seriously. Oh yeh, Tyrese Gibson is very unbelievable as a gay Machine Gun Joe, but he is kind of entertaining. Natalie Martinez looks hot as Frankenstein’s navigator but ruins it every time she opens her mouth.

What we have is Paul W.S. Anderson’s usual attempt at taking something very cool, and trashing it with rap music, hoochie mamas doing the Miami CSI slow mo walk with plenty of booby action and very little real writing. Quit trying to appeal to the younger generation as though they are idiots. Most are, but they do have the brains to sit through intelligent dialog.

Sorry Mr. Anderson but I am still smarting from the steaming heap and loss of 83 minutes with Alien Versus Predator. But if it makes you feel better, I did like all of the Resident Evil Flicks. See for those updates.

OK Complaints aside we do have an action packed, spectacularly choreographed super race, chase flick with lots of high speed racing, gore, explosions, gunfire, gore, fighting, gore, gunfire, high speed racing, more explosions and gore, and to top it off, we get to see and hear the formidable Joan Allen say words like C*** Sucker, and say things like "F*** With Me and we'll see who S**ts on the sidewalk". What does that even mean? WOW!!

Lets not forget all the really cool explosions and gore!!

This is definitely a matinee type of show. I can't wait for the video game. Plese someone tell me there will be a video game! This si a check your brain at the door, have some popcorn for nervous munching kind of flick. If you expect anything more from a movie entitled "Death Race", you haven't been paying attention. I give it 2 and a 1/2 out of 5 skulls for the pure fun of the action sequences.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Monday, July 21, 2008

The Dark Knight Has Risen

Wow!! Freakin' cool, I have to say I loved this movie.

The Dark Knight starring Christian Bale and The late Heath Ledger was every bit what I expected, dark, violent, loud, action packed and fun.

Christian Bale is excellent as Batman. Gone is the brooding, self absorbed hero whose very psyche hinges on the question of whether or not he is the bad guy. Replaced is the pragmatic, determined and dedicated hero of the city. Tough, scarred, strong and tired we have a true hero.

Even better than a true hero in my book is a true psychotic. Volatile, lethal, uncaring, utterly horrible is Heath Ledger as the Joker. Ledger was awesome as the Joker, at no point while watching this movie did I think, "Wow isn't Ledger great in this part", no, I only saw The Joker; a chaotic, loose canon unleashed upon the city with no rhyme or reason, just pure insanity wreaking havoc on the good, the bad and well anyone who pisses him off. Wow, I think I might have a little man crush on the Joker.

Any hoo, whoa there, The movie is fun. The actors were great, the special effects were fantasic. Also, the movie is dark, and violent. The Dark Knight is not for kids. If you are a parent taking your kids to see a Batman film, and then getting pissy because it is dark and violent, then you have not been paying attention.

Unlike Spiderman 3 which had producers, but no writers, yes I said it, Spiderman 3 Fired it's writers and had a bunch of dinks in an office saying "Wow that would be cool looking, lets do that" instead of someone who actually wrote anything, The dark Knight had some great writing by John and Christopher Nolan. Everything fit, was necessary for the story, and left you wanting more.

This is a perfect good guys versus bad guys picture with just the right amount of death, humor and battle. It is a comic book on film and it was exactly what it was supposed to be.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Dark Knight Trailers, Heath Ledger Interview, Christian Bale Interview

The Dark Night, starring Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Aaron Eckhart, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Michael Caine, Gary Oldman, Morgan Freeman is coming out this Friday July 18th.

If it is anything at all like Batman Begins, then we are in for a real treat. Of course the consummate method actor Christen Bale will star as the Dark Knight. This guy is nuts, he starves himself for one roll then buffs out for the next. I would have to say that so far Bale is the best Batman yet.

But this time around, filling the shoes previously worn by Ceasar Romero, and Jack Nicholson, as the Joker, is Heath Ledger who unfortunately met an untimely death this past year. At least he just went to sleep and didn't do a Bon Scott or Janice Joplin. Anyway, as in his previous films, Ledger will no doubt be great. Oscar Great? Oh who knows. He might just get it because of all the publicity surrounding his death, but I would hope he gets it because he did a good job.

Death'll getcha didly squat in Jack's book!

Yahoo movies has a great page on The Dark Knight with lots of great clips and interviews. Check it out at And Remember Jack sent ya!!

The kind of geek I am I shy away from links on pages that may give away to many details. I really do not like "The Making Of" videos. Especially before I see a movie.

So reviews are to come this Friday night. I know I won't be the only one out there with an opinion, but it only takes one of you to form start a following. The more who follow the more will happen on this blog. So fess up a reply or two and send in your own reviews

Sunday, July 13, 2008

William Shatner stars in the "Devils Rain"

This post is for all of you young'ens who think horror started with "Scream", or "The Craft". Both are decent movies in their own right but there are other, scary, gross, silly cult classics out there which are entertaining in many way.

One of my favorites is a little known Devil in the Desert piece called "The Devils Rain"

Centuries ago, Jonathan Corbis (Ernest Borgnine) was the leader of a devil-worshipping cult -- but he was betrayed. Members stole the sacred book that held the names of those who had given themselves to Satan. Today, the Preston family hides the book, determined to keep Corbis from his evil goals. Corbis, however, is dogged in his pursuit and has vowed bloody vengeance in this horror flick starring Tom Skerritt, William Shatner and Ida Lupino.

This a great hokey, 70s flick that will tickle your funny bone and as it did for me, make you wary of those friendly people you meet out in the desert at remote gas stations.

The Devil's Rain is definitely a must see.

10,000 BC (Big Crap)

So far as I watch this steaming heap with my wife, the most annoying part is that she keeps having to ask me "what did he say?", or "who is that?".

Its not her fault. This movie is a steaming heap of mammoth dung. Nothing makes sense, there is no character to care about, and the muddled visuals make it hard to tell what is happening most of he time.

Stupid story, bad dialog, nonsensical narration. Avoid it at all costs!!!

HellBoy II The Golden Army

Wow!! Excellent film by Guillermo Del Toro! I loved the new HellBoy!
Not only was there great action, but a decent story with some humor and some character development for characters you would usually only see whats on the surface.

As in many Comic Book stories our heroes experience the dark side of who they are and how they fit into this world. HellBoy II integrates this theme throughout the story and makes you think about who is the bad guy and who is not. Some brief moments are a little formulaic, but even with the occasional stall, the overall story jumps back to grab you.

The special affects are Awesome. This is a movie that requires CGI, and it is done el perfecto.

There are a few inconsistencies that you will no doubt pick up yourself but if you go into a movie titled HellBoy II and try and pick it apart for realism or plausibility then you need to smack yourself in the head, go back and exchange your tickets for ... well there does not seem to be any esoteric, deep thought movies out right now. I know you could just go rent Howard's End, or Sense and Sensibility.

But If you want to have fun, go see HellBoy II The Golden Army!

Thursday, July 10, 2008


Emily Blunt (Prudie Drummond in "The Jane Austin Book Club"....arrrrrggghhrr echth! Sorry, Jack just never thought he'd be mentioning Jane Austin on this blog, ever), and Ashton Holmes (Jack Stahl in "History of Violence"), play the Girl and Guy in the Sony Picture's release of "WIND CHILL". And yes that is how they are billed, Girl and Guy.

I never saw this movie hit the theaters but actually caught it on Starz recently. I had my doubts, but sat up one night with a plate of snacks and soda, turned down the lights and watched this very good ghost story.

Yes, I said it, Wind Chill is a a ghost story. No chainsaws, no 3 lb. mallets, no devices which snap on your head if you can't dig a key out of your ass before the timer goes off. Just a plain old ghost story.

Girl and Guy get together for a shared ride home from college for the holidays. In 30 degree below temperatures Guy makes the incredibly bad choice of taking a shortcut route (WRONG TURN) onto a very bad stretch of road. Guy crashes the car and he and girl must survive a night teaming with hidden terrors.

The best thing about this movie is that tension is built in a simple environment with a decent script coupled with wind and snow machines machines being the only special effects. There is a certain amount of predictability for those who love the horror genre, but a few good chills and surprises are there to keep up the interest I found myself sitting on the edge of my seat more than once.

Anyway if you get a chance to catch it on Stars or Fearnet wherever, then give it a shot!!

New horrific, chainsaw zombie animation, claymation video from takena on Youtube

Monday, June 30, 2008


Wow I love that next to last scene in 7 when Brad Pitt realizes that his wife's head is in the box.

The Mother Of Tears

I was first exposed to Dario Argento’s The Three Mothers trilogy 1977 with the garish, violent, and almost unbearably loud Suspiria, then in 1980 I saw the confusing, garish, violent, and ridiculously loud Inferno. Finally after 27 years I have gotten to see the third chapter, The Mother Of Tears.

In preparation for the big event, to tell you the kind of geek I am, I watched both Suspiria and Inferno right before I went see The Mother of Tears. Once again I was enthralled with Suspiria. It was just goofy enough for smirking, but then something would jump out of the red, blue or purple lighting that made me jump. Inferno, still sucked. At least in Suspiria, you could care about Suzie Banion. In Inferno, I just wanted everyone to die.

Then I got to see The Mother of Tears. The kind of geek I am, I thought there would be a line to get in. It was only playing one night in the bay area, and I got there two hours early to make sure I got a good seat. There were mabey 25 people in the place. Being in my forties, I was the oldest guy in the room. The rest were Berkley students just bored and looking for air conditioning on a 100 degree plus day.

The Mother of Tears takes place in modern Rome and begins in an unconsecrated section of church grounds, where workers unearth a 19th-century casket and urn. After the local priest figures out what the urn is, he sends it and the casket to a museum guy named Michael. Michael’s two assistants, Giselle and Sarah (Asia Argento), decide to break protocol and open the urn. Asia argento leaves the room for a minute and in the meantime Giselle read the engraved words on three mokey like statues. Soon appears a monkey, and three guys in big robes and bad Halloween masks. The three gargoyle-like creatures, now full-sized and embodied, tear into Giselle and strangle her with her own entrails, and ripp her jaw appart with some cool device they must have been packing in their robes. Sarah would be next, the monkey did it’s best to make sure, but for the mysterious beneficent voice that guides her to safety. The monkey makes many appearances in the pursuit of Sarah through out the movie which start an audience wide synchronized “Fucking Monkey!” This was always followed by laughter.

All kinds of crazy crap happens after that night. People are raging in the streets, mothers are killing their babies, and all the witches in the world, all of which remind me of an old girlfriend's “Girls Night Out" pals converge on Rome cackling and acting as stupid as the biker gang in Mad Max.

Asia Argento runs up with an old friend of her mother who was killed before Suspiria. Sarah learns to talk with her deceased mother through the coaching of this older lesbian. We find out she is a lesbian due to a gratuitous lesbian scene. Sorry no Asia Argento there. But we do get to learn that Sarah has special powers, though we never get to see them, and that she can say Mommy” repeatedly, in a loud scratching, pleading voice that I may never get out of my head.
Except for a brief display of Sarah’s courage, and her slog through Satan’s sewer, the film ends pretty predictably, sunrise and all. When Mater Lachrimarium, the Mother of Tears (Moran Atias), finally appears, it’s not only too little too late, but it’s also not scary. Cool shirt though, apparently 19th century witches were into extreme bikini waxing.

With all of the goofiness, Asia Argento’s hacting, yes HACTING, and silly script, it was everything I expected and I loved it. Favorite scene: When the Japanese Witch gets her head squished by a plastic sliding door. Best aspect: I finally was able to make some sense of the whole story and Inferno in particular. Stupidest scene the phone booth. Just hang up the phone Sarah, just hang up the phone.

Inferno will soon have it’s day on this blog, as soon as I figure out what was up with the hot dog guy. Those in the know, know what I am talking about!

Over all I can see the dvd set coming out in a year or so and I will own it. I may never unwrap Inferno, but I will own it. It is entertainment.

One last note, Mother of Tears played one night only in the Bay area and my daughter took me to see it as a fater's day gift. She could not have thought of a better gift.

Thank You Sasha, I will always remember it.