Crazy Eights is a steaming pile of whatever you can imagine coming out of a werewolves hairy ass. Unfortunately, there are no werwolves in this piece of shite, there is only the occasional shadow of a little girl, Frank Whaley wining like he does in evry movie he is in, Dina Myers, Tracy Lords acting tough and cussing alot, and that skinny chick from the USA hit series Burn Notice.
Directed by James K. Jones
Writen by Dan DeLuca, and James K. Jones
Rough plot--
Six people are brought together at the funeral of a childhood friend. While settling the estate, they discover a map, which leads them on a search for a long forgotten time capsule, at the request of their dead friend. What they discover reawakens repressed childhood traumas and leads them on a journey through their long abandoned childhood home: a home with a terrible secret and a mysterious dead girl who will lead them to their strange fates.
The only good part of this peace of crap is when the skinny chick from Burn Notice (Gabrielle Anwar) rips her own jaw off. The rest of the deaths are only eluded to; just like the point of this whole meaningless adventure into stupidity.
Christ on a cycle, it took me four attempts to get through this pile fearnet. It is the first of the “Eight Movies to Die For” series that I have watched. I hope the rest are better. I would get the DVD just to see if there are direct/writers commentaries to explain WTF is going on, but then I would have to kick my own ass for wasting another minute on this crap.
Avoid this flick unless you absolutely hate yourself and there are no Cat o’ nine tails around with which to slap yourself.
No skull here folks. If Tracy Lords is reading this, no pun intended.
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