Crazy Eights--Crazy to waste your time

Crazy Eights is a steaming pile of whatever you can imagine coming out of a werewolves hairy ass. Unfortunately, there are no werwolves in this piece of shite, there is only the occasional shadow of a little girl, Frank Whaley wining like he does in evry movie he is in, Dina Myers, Tracy Lords acting tough and cussing alot, and that skinny chick from the USA hit series Burn Notice.

Directed by James K. Jones
Writen by Dan DeLuca, and James K. Jones

Rough plot--
Six people are brought together at the funeral of a childhood friend. While settling the estate, they discover a map, which leads them on a search for a long forgotten time capsule, at the request of their dead friend. What they discover reawakens repressed childhood traumas and leads them on a journey through their long abandoned childhood home: a home with a terrible secret and a mysterious dead girl who will lead them to their strange fates.
The only good part of this peace of crap is when the skinny chick from Burn Notice (Gabrielle Anwar) rips her own jaw off. The rest of the deaths are only eluded to; just like the point of this whole meaningless adventure into stupidity.
Christ on a cycle, it took me four attempts to get through this pile fearnet. It is the first of the “Eight Movies to Die For” series that I have watched. I hope the rest are better. I would get the DVD just to see if there are direct/writers commentaries to explain WTF is going on, but then I would have to kick my own ass for wasting another minute on this crap.
Avoid this flick unless you absolutely hate yourself and there are no Cat o’ nine tails around with which to slap yourself.
No skull here folks. If Tracy Lords is reading this, no pun intended.

WIND CHILL

Emily Blunt (Prudie Drummond in "The Jane Austin Book Club"....arrrrrggghhrr echth! Sorry, Jack just never thought he'd be mentioning Jane Austin on this blog, ever), and Ashton Holmes (Jack Stahl in "History of Violence"), play the Girl and Guy in the Sony Picture's release of "WIND CHILL". And yes that is how they are billed, Girl and Guy.

I never saw this movie hit the theaters but actually caught it on Starz recently. I had my doubts, but sat up one night with a plate of snacks and soda, turned down the lights and watched this very good ghost story.

Yes, I said it, Wind Chill is a a ghost story. No chainsaws, no 3 lb. mallets, no devices which snap on your head if you can't dig a key out of your ass before the timer goes off. Just a plain old ghost story.


Girl and Guy get together for a shared ride home from college for the holidays. In 30 degree below temperatures Guy makes the incredibly bad choice of taking a shortcut route (WRONG TURN) onto a very bad stretch of road. Guy crashes the car and he and girl must survive a night teaming with hidden terrors.

The best thing about this movie is that tension is built in a simple environment with a decent script coupled with wind and snow machines machines being the only special effects. There is a certain amount of predictability for those who love the horror genre, but a few good chills and surprises are there to keep up the interest I found myself sitting on the edge of my seat more than once.

Anyway if you get a chance to catch it on Stars or Fearnet wherever, then give it a shot!!